Unleashing Drama

Archive for March 2018

With social media and the hours we spend on it, it’s so easy to compare our lives with the person next to us. And yes, we women are guilty of doing that all the time. I mean, take Selvan for example..he doesn’t have Instagram & is hardly on Facebook so he doesn’t know what an average husband/father is doing..so in his head, he’s a damn good father and husband. LOL. Whenever I share with him a post on instagram about something romantic someone has done for their significant other, he’ll laugh it off. Cis, tak dapat hint langsung.

Anyways, as women and especially now that I’m a mother & trying to run an organisation, it is SO EASY for me to look at other successful women and compare myself with them. How is it so easy for them while I’m struggling to get Leia to sleep or drink milk? How is it that their hair is STILL so pretty despite breastfeeding? Dude, I breastfeed for 20 minutes and nak tidur for the next 3 hours. Six months after giving birth, I think I’m still tired from the pushing during labour. I just don’t know how they are doing it.

One day, my wise sister told me a piece of gossip that forever changed how I looked at these successful women. She said, ‘Cheryl, she has three maids to take care of her 3 children.” Ahhh!! Maids, yes of course. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? See, nothing wrong with having maids but many times successful women don’t really share with us their support system that helps them to be successful. I hate it that they make it seem like they’ve done it by themselves and then make the rest of us feel bad. Cis.

Our support systems – a good husband, maids to take care of our kids, our parents – all of these people contribute towards us becoming who we are. I wouldn’t be able to do half the things I did today without the help of Selvan, my wonderful babysitter, my parents & my dear cleaner who comes and helps me with the house every two weeks. Honestly, I cannot do it. I acknowledge & understand that many people would not have the same privileges as I have..which is why I’m very wary of sharing any ‘success’ stories of being a full time working mum.

I wish, women would just be a bit more honest with how they became successful. Throughout the ‘Adiwiraku’ phase & when I was asked about how I could do it, I said that I had a supportive principal, a great collab & parents who were always there for me to help me. Our support system is important, why are we forgetting them? Even if we do mention them, it’s always that one forgettable random post no one cares about.

Having said all of this, I also want to acknowledge that there are many women who have made it without a great support system. I wish we could hear more from them. I would love to know how they could overcome all adversities and become who they are today, minus the maids & the supportive spouse.

Meanwhile, it’s back to trying to finish the laundry, reply emails and ensure Leia is not trying to eat some random piece of paper she found on the floor..TTYL!

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I often joke about how I want Leia to get straight As and all that. I think my friends and  family take it seriously and they often tag me in all these posts and articles on how to make my baby a genius. But for real, can you make your baby a genius?

Babies, like all of us, are unique individuals. They have their temper tantrums, they have their pet peeves and most importantly, they achieve things in a way and at a time that is comfortable for them. Some babies crawl faster, some speak faster and some are more advanced that the others. As parents, our duty is to provide them with the best we can. Toys for stimulation, reduced TV time, play space and lots of love. I think it’s really as simple as that.

I don’t believe in the flash cards at six months and hiring an ‘expert’ to come and help your baby to be a genius. I don’t! There’s a few things that we can do to help stimulate our babies senses. We can talk to them while playing, show them things, read to them and then, let them play on their own. We don’t have to constantly stimulate them with toys and random games.

If you want your child to acquire language skills faster, talk to them in real people language. Quit the baby talk and tell them things as it is. I remember my good friend once asked her son if he knew the ‘consequences’ of his action — he was only 2 at that time.  Needless to say, he’s now a bright boy with an extensive vocabulary.

And yes, I send Leia for music class at six months not because I want her to pick up an instrument or to be the next Mozart, but because she genuinely enjoys music. Ed Sheeran aside, she’s a lot calmer when we play songs during feedings or when she’s playing by herself. I found out about the music class from my sister and we took Leia for a trial lesson. She enjoyed it so much, listening to the teacher sing and playing different instruments (egg shakers etc). So, we enrolled her and she’s loves it! But yes, no expectations..just want her to have fun.

Raising a baby, like everything else is a learning process. Some things we do are great for them, some maybe not so great, but we try. The MOST important part of their growing up is for them to know that they are loved, every day of their life. Hug your babies, kiss them, cuddle them, let them fall asleep in your arms — all these positive emotions will certainly lead them to become a genius in their own way.

Lastly, my last point for this blog is..of the things I want for my daughter, I want her to be more than a princess! I’m not sure why, but the moment we have baby girls, we instantly feel the need to call them princess. For me, and of course this is just my opinion, you should be so much more than a princess. Now, before you roll your eyes and say, ‘but Cheryl you NAMED HER AFTER PRINCESS LEIA’ let me explain a bit. Princess Leia was the leader of the rebellion, not an ordinary princess. But also, we never refer to her as Princess Leia..she’s always just Leia D.

But yes, we call Leia cute, we call her strong, we call her brave and we call her wild — anything but princess. Of course, if she marries a real Prince then okay la, but other than that, she can be the strong, brave and smart girl that she is.

So okay, I tulis panjang lebar but in conclusion, no genius or princess. Let your child be whatever they want to be! Encourage their uniqueness and let them explore. Simpan flashcards itu ok 😛


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